I am my body's Pimp :)

I woke up at a strange hour .. I slept at a stranger hour ...

To cut it short, I could not sleep...

I am feeling restless, emotional and a bit disturbed...

I feel  this way  most of the time and i just keep myself pre occupied with a trillion things to take my mind of this crazy wave of energy ... I am positive that with my level of anxiety and hyper tension I am bound to go insane if I do not find creative means to channelize them.

I am seriously considering getting myself admitted in a mental asylum  when it gets to much to cope with . Its okay to be crazy.. we all are! ... Hope I will be equipped with tools to deal with this insanity or at least ways of accepting it and embracing it  to avoid self destruction.

No scary dreams... It did not occur to me to call someone to express how it felt..

People are not good listeners during this hour... they prefer silence or sleep ... I respect that and I want people to respect that :) so Do not call me at 3 am !!!

Besides it felt like something I had to experience on my own... and probably write just to understand myself in retrospect.

I ll have to probably to go to ballet class  and I do not know if I can dance today because  I have been ill the last two days . My mind wants to dance  but my body is not ready . As frustrating as it is , I ll have to listen to it. 

It makes me wonder if my mind is restless or my body. The body is such a strange phenomenon. Is it just a pile of flesh and bones, just a combination of gases and liquids or a conglomeration of atoms in space? Synonymous  with existence , it is impossible to believe that everything that we experience is the result of chemical reactions.

I am my body's pimp ... my mind and heart is out there on the streets , just to make sure my body survives ... Use and throw is written all over it ... Easily disposable, eco-friendly pile of garbage :) cannot live without it !

Everything goes for a toss just because I am ill or am on some kind of medication . I am trying to understand that my mind is just an extension of my body .. just voicing its state of being ...