A friend once told me that we have to let everything in this universe grow and have its natural death. Our wishes, passions, emotions, relationships, money, talent, body, love are all subject to this wonderful phenomenon. We hold on to the idea of immortality like an iron rod in a sinking ship.I must confess that there are crazy reasons that keep me going as well.. Dance being the strongest of all... It has been my most faithful companion and I have had to completely surrender my ego to embrace it. The most unconditional form of love that I have experienced so far and it shall exist and walk with me till I am no more.
I do not know if I would continue to be a performer(on stage) for too long. I acknowledge the world much lesser these days. The worlds' acceptance and acknowledgement that meant the world to me when i started dancing has diminished to great extent. An excitement that intrigued me as a child seems to be withering away just like my innocence. Feels like I just started learning my steps in dance class a few days ago and it is almost 15 years since then. Most of what is acquired in dance in empirical or simply spoon fed into you through various channels of the system.
Amidst all this a question of survival, the question of identity as a woman, financial independence, maternal instincts, search for knowledge, travel, new rendezvous, the fear of terrorist attacks, accidents on roads, insurance, dreams , applications, grants, marriage, heart breaks, paying bills , hunger , dreams , death and more have boarded the same bus to nowhere.
Destination unknown but there is a last stop for everyone onboard :)..
I dance as my body withers away, and my heart erodes with emotions , my mind rots with unwanted information... dance will live beyond these mortal thoughts... it shall outlive me and my universe :)
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