Just Awake

I am up all night! Lost, insecure, confused, emotional just like a tide in the sea reacting to the full moon with simply no choice. Emotions surge followed by a downfall of tears. There is no reason to be happy or there is no reason to be sad. The body and mind are in search of an inner peace that is  nowhere to be found. The nights are quiet, but the darkness screams in horror ! It cannot hide behind light anymore. The day has been its best refuge and in the days of the moon it lurks without a camouflage . How can I dissuade myself to be logical when eccentricity has become life? I define my madness and it is crazier than lunacy . To act normal is such a full time job. When there is no music in the sweetest of poetry and no rhythm in the percussion of breath, where does one find dreams when there is absolutely no sleep felt in lullabies ? What is security but the warmth of your lovers arms, where you drift into your islands of loneliness and return to the shores of solitude.
 I had to express these random thoughts and share .. To know that there is someone out there ,feeling the same way I do . With no clue of what life does bring and one should do. I have to learn to digest my past beyond ignoring its existence. To accept anothers' without too many judgements. My yesteryears have confined me to a life-time  imprisonment of regret and the present has the key to bail me out of this mess. I am my own enemy and why would I want to defeat 'me'?
Now that I have expressed this , I ll put myself back to a deep slumber . There is more to dream and how would I if cannot sleep I? ll build a future with my thoughts, you shall see and before they house me they will all be washed away by the sea. Time, it says is late , almost early morning to sleep but who gives a damn as the sun never sets , its just what we want to see .