A feeling of despair dwells in the depth of my being. It surfaces when life is unsettled with unexpected jerks of emotions. Like a sunken ship in a deep blue sea, they lie in a rotting silence. Not to resurface like the dead but stay intact , like nothing has been touched. My past feels this way sometimes. Looking back! I dread looking back, it makes the journey seem like a battle ground, the memories become dead weight and the vision blurs and you cannot see the acme of life anymore. A place where you can have a free fall and never touch the ground. I see my friends and people who grew up with me grow and achieve . Climbing the ladders of success and collecting every happiness that is in store. Happy with families, a linear progression and accumulating more memories along the way. I wait and watch as they pass my way , I see them get ahead and go out of sight. The traveller in me is disappearing slowly, there is a desire to stay put, to stay still- to be a tree. Such a disconnect with everything that I have been so far, the body , the mind and emotions... The people you have met seem like a dream and the places seem surreal. A rat race, the loop and the treadmill of life. The unbearable pain of being, of staying alive without a purpose.. Why?
Like everything else, this too shall pass... !!!
Like everything else, this too shall pass... !!!
